Did you like the title? It was originally PUT ME ON THE BALLOT, but SEND THE MORON TO CONGRESS sounds better, no? Notice, not A MORON. We have plenty of those. THE MORON. That’s me.
Hello, readers. Yes, BOTH of you. I am the owner of Moronpolitics dot com. Some of my posts in the past — let me say this right away — were intended as humor, satire or just blowing off steam. Not most of them, but occasionally when I was staying up late or just in a strange mood or really upset about something I let my fingers go nuts. I didn’t worry about it, but now I will not be doing that any more. Why??? Because I want you to put me on the Republican ballot for Congress. I have NO money and believe I have about as much chance of winning as I do of hitting the lottery. In other words, less than 1 percent of the chance I have of dying from a lightning strike. That doesn’t mean this is a joke. Far from it. I have been a Republican my entire life. The Republican party is in severe trouble. I will be talking about this a lot in the future. This week I will tell you the district in which I want to be nominated.
First, let me introduce myself. My name is Stephen Boone. I live in Garland, Texas, a suburb of Dallas. For a quick survey of my political view you can go to Bing or Google and search for Letters to the Editor, Dallas Morning News and my name. I have been published in that paper about 18 to 20 times over the last 30 years and most of those letters were about political and social issues. I might even go collect those letters myself and make them available here on this blog. THOSE LETTERS are NOT jokes. I meant each and every one of them. I also encourage YOU, dear reader, to write to YOUR newspaper’s letters section and SPEAK UP. People that say it is impossible to make a difference are one of two things. They are either Ignorant or Lazy. Either way they are wrong. A brief lesson and I will sign off for the day. Oh, I do sometimes put advertisements on this page but in the last two years I have not made enough money for google to send me a check. I have earned less than eight dollars and they don’t cut you a check until you hit 10 or 15 bucks. SO….. if you want to click and advert…. go ahead. Is it a contribution to my campaign? HA HA HA NO. If you WANT to contribute or help or get on a mailing list, well first I need somebody that knows how to PUT people on a mailing list, or an EMAIL- ING list I suppose. I certainly don’t have money for postage. After I get to Congress some of that is free. Why? Well, campaign mailing are NOT free, but why do you think a Congressman/woman/dog sends people mail except to keep you voting? Now, for today’s lesson.
Do you know what a “Lawn Dart” is?? Maybe not and if not there is a good reason. About 30 years ago a fellow was playing with his Lawn Darts. They were a pretty cool game, but I never owned one as a kid back in the sixties. The game had two sets of Darts which were plastic darts about a foot long with a heavy metal center and tip. You laid the “Target” out on your lawn, hence the name. It was just a plastic hoop about 18 to 24 inches in diameter as I remember, but you could use something else as a target. Each player using an under handed motion throws his/her (I’m going to stop doing that later, really.) darts way, way up into the sky so it comes down and THUNK!! sticks into the ground, hopefully inside the target. Scoring — I never read the instructions, but it was probably similar to Horse Shoes, Washers, Pitching Pennies (WOW! that was a long time ago) or a thousand other games. Remember the THUNK!! ?? Like I said the darts had a heavy metal tip and were weighted so they came down point first and with some authority. Unless you were never a young man AKA boy, teenager, or something similar you can figure out that some people were going to sharpen those tips, but as the darts came the tip was just a metal rod tip about 3/8 or 1/2 inch across. You need not sharpen them to make them stick in the ground; they worked fine as shipped.
What does this have to do with politics or morons??? Well, enter David Snow. I believe HE did it, but officially he blamed one of his sons or his son’s friends. However it happened, David Snow’s daughter seven year old Michelle Snow was out playing in the same area as some older people were playing with Lawn Darts. Now, I don’t believe there is any record of anybody else EVER being killed with Lawn Darts, but unfortunately Michelle Snow ran out, we assume, to quickly while the darts were being thrown, got his in the head by one of the darts and later died from the blow. I don’t know if they failed to get her to the ER right away or if the doctors failed to diagnose her condition properly or what exactly happened but we know one thing for sure. Little Michelle died and that was a tragedy. David Snow began a campaign that included endless harassing and complaining until they limited sales of Lawn Darts to adults and then, BANNED LAWN DARTS FROM BEING SOLD IN THE UNITED STATES. That’s right. One man, but just working his ass off managed to get a harmless and popular game completely banned in the entire country for more than ten years. You CAN buy them again, but that’s not the point. The point of this lesson is BITCHING AND COMPLAINING AND WORKING YOUR ASS OFF WORKS. So…. DO IT!! You can start by investigating this Stephen Boone guy and finding out if he might be worth supporting. Have a nice life. On down the road.