Why is Ann Coulter openly backing Mitt Romney?? Well, I have one possiblility. I went to a psychiatrist a while back. A person important to my personal life has been acting completely differently that how she acted for the previous 30 years. “Well,” she said, “Some people DO mature. Is that a possibility?” Jesus. Too bad she couldn’t have matured in time to support George W. Bush or maybe to have actually READ his illegal immigration plan?? Covered here elsewhere I assume.’
Hell, be grateful for small favors, they say. Since millions read Ann and NOBODY reads me…let me do HER a small favor. Maybe she will be grateful. Not, sleep with me grateful. Jesus, the poor girl weighs less than my LEG! I’m old enough and take blood pressure meds that…. well I never could get excited looking at ribs sticking out of a woman’s chest where breasts normally sit. I like small, skinny women, but if Ann were my girl friend I would tie her down and set an IV of Fried Chicken in one arm and set a feeding tube in her throat to force feed her Milky Ways. Enough. I, too, am on the Romney team. I tried to help the Perry campaign because he has great stage presence. He really does; at least in the type of speech/can I take some questions setting he prefers and should have stayed with. Then, Jeez — doesn’t anybody down in Austin know how to prep a guy for a debate? I mean other than the Ron Paul team. Then, oh Christ, he came up with the bizarre series of pitches he called a campaign speech. Yes, I am a conservative except I think the founding fathers were a bunch of morons — I will now rewrite that silly “constitution” thing. Completely.
Folks. Both of you. I know you are in the middle east or Kiev, Russia where most of my readers live but just pretend you are Americans. (YEAH! You could actually — oh never mind. Why ruin your day?) I hassled Mr. Romney 4 years ago for his Mormon religion. Not because he IS a Mormon as much as for the way he insisted that his religion/church was the most important thing in his life, but it didn’t matter at all. Huh? Frankly, the Mormon church officially believes things — HISTORICAL things , not miracles — that can be proven scientifically in many many ways to be “Wrong”. Not like “jesus and Satan are brothers”. Whatever. Nobody can prove or disprove that one. No, the bit about the American Indian tribes being descended from the lost tribes of Israel. DNA anyone?? There’s other stuff. Anyway, I feel like Mitt finally answered me back in 2008 when he made a statement that said “It was my father and mother’s church. I’m not going to embarass them and the rest of my family be changing it. OK. I can live with that. Someday I hope you can set an example for the millions of others struggling with the fact they grew up in a church based on the imaginary psuedo-bible written by a con man in the 19th century. Yes, THAT would be leadership, Mitt.
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Religion aside Mitt Romney is — can be — a very good candidate. He is also going to BE the candidate, people. We can do this the intelligent way or we can redo 1964. That’s right, you IDIOTS. 1964. As in the country elected a man that they NEVER would have even CONSIDERED — even THOUGHT ABOUT electing President. Lyndon Baines Johnson. Crude, arm twisting, Texas before Texas was couth..Lyndon (Did HE have Kennedy killed??) Baines (“Have you all seen this Fucking SCAR??”) Johnson. Yes, the man that the country HATED so much that he was forced to QUIT and THEN… then the country elected Nixon. In a LANDSLIDE. But… But…
But before THAT NIXON landslide came the most spectacular landslide in 20th century politics. More than the way Ike crushed Stevenson or FDR bitch slapped Dewey or Wilke. A 60/40 HUMILIATION of Barry Goldwater. What led up to THAT?? How did such a grotesque, such a political Gargoyle wipe out ANYBODY 60/40?? Easy. Goldwater and Nelson Rockefeller went into the 1964 convention almost — ALMOST — tied. Not actually. Goldwater had the nomination sewed up, but it was close. AND..they had allowed the primary become some kind of “establishment easterner vs US” monstrosity. THEY ARE US is what the damned fools should have realized. oh no. Goldwaters TEA PARTY — oh they called themselves something else, but it was still the same feeling. Goldwater’s people couldn’t just accept the nomination, let Rockefeller give a “let’s all work together now. We are one party” speech. Yes, shithead tea partiers, go READ the oh so terrible speech that Nelson tried to give. Yes tried. Goldwater’s people booed him off the God Damned STAGE. On national TV. Fools. And, you people want to do it again. When exactly will Santorum (is that Latin for enemy of satan?) when will Rick “the devil is real and working through cable TV RIGHT NOW!!” Santorum going to point out that Mitt Romney is CLEARLY Satanic? He is, after all, a Mormon. If you believe that Satan has had a hand in creating phoney counterfeit religions… you have to think MORMON don’t you? Is he saving it for the convention. Naaaa… I’ll bet he’s going to unleash it in the next month. Idiot. He isn’t a great candidate, not yet. He COULD develop into a Presidential possibility — maybe within a Romney administration. Mitt is the type of person that puts TEAMS together. Given the chance, he would LOVE to get Santorum and Gingrich and even Mr. 9-9-9 onto his team, into his cabinet, out there WORKING to improve the country.
Will anybody let him? He — thank God — doesn’t talk about Satan or Jesus or ANYTHING like that on the stump or in any public setting. YES!! This is NOT 1780, folks. He IS pro-life, Pro lower taxes, Pro smaller government, Anti ILLEGAL immigration without making every Latino in America think he is out to get them. He has a big, confident smile. Sort of a Yes We Can! guy if I can borrow a line from the Bob the Builder preschooler’s TV show that Barrack Obama rode into the Whitehouse on. Oh, and he wants to DRILL DRILL DRILL. When I heard the current President actually make FUN of that idea, make FUN of the idea that the GOP will give the country 2 dollar gas that way. Not saying they won’t. Saying that the USA shouldn’t WANT it. Heck, our goal is to make gas the same price as europe. 9 to 12 dollars depending on the market. YOUR choice THAT or ROMNEY. Get behind, Mitt. PLEASE. He could be a winner if you give him a chance. AND that would make YOU and ME a winner. Don’t make me send demons from hell to torment you. Or a second term Barrack Obama. Either One.
PLEASE?????????